“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”… Or so they say.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you don’t always feel that way. The holidays are a time of joy and togetherness, but for lots of people, they can also be a time of sadness and isolation … Especially as a person with a disability.

When you’re faced with a disability, living in a world that is not designed for you can be hard. The holidays are no exception. And sometimes the holidays even present additional accessibility and inclusion challenges.

In winter as a little girl, I used to love going to see the Christmas lights at the Columbus Zoo & Aquarium. But due to the poor circulation in my lower half, my parents were forced to bundle me up like the little brother from A Christmas Story. 

While I live in Florida now, I would absolutely love to travel somewhere wintry for the holidays to relive some of my fondest memories, but I know being exposed to snow makes it extra difficult to use my wheelchair and being outside in freezing cold puts me at increased risk of frostbite.

Even something as seemingly simple as gathering with friends and family for holiday parties can present frustrating challenges for me, as most homes are not wheelchair accessible. If you live with sensory issues, going to holiday parades and other events or festivities can be especially overwhelming.

The truth is, the sidelines are not a fun place to live … But no matter what obstacles you may be facing through the holidays (and beyond), I’m here to give you grace and say that it’s okay if you struggle to find the joy within it sometimes. We are all human.

And I’m also here to ask, what can we all do to still make the most of it? 

When I struggle to find joy during the holidays (or other times), I remember that it’s not about what’s underneath the literal or metaphorical Christmas tree. It’s really about who is still there to be with me to celebrate together. 

I just had four of my best girl friends come to my apartment to do a cookie decorating party. I loved this because I was comfortable in my own home, we all got to tell stories and share memories, and best of all – we enjoyed the sweets of our labor. 

This to say, don’t always wait for others to come to you. Don’t be shy about advocating for your needs so you are able to enjoy experiences as your authentic self. Step out of your comfort zone and I promise you will be glad that you did.

Put in the work to make your holidays amazing. Make your own traditions. Recharge your battery. Even helping someone out during the holiday season brings me joy. There are plenty of organizations that offer gift giving opportunities for children and elderly individuals.

In the end, none of the things I go through on a daily basis matter when I am surrounded by family and friends who love me and care about me. We are all here for a short time so it’s important to make the best of it and to find little pockets of joy in the moments when you just don’t feel like it! 

Happy Holidays, 

Cody